tinder and sweets… Can’t Get It Out of My Head

Recently, (as in like, the past four days) I have been guided to Tinder. And much to my dismay, I was instantly hooked.

If you’re not aware of Tinder, it’s a social app for smart phones that will allow you to see other people around you… It’s a dating/hookup app in the most basic and arguably, most archaic form. You get 1-6 photos, a possible short “blurb,” age, and shared interests (should the other users list/link them from Facebook) about said person in your vicinity. And then, it’s up to you. There’s no pressure. You choose: yea or nay. If you want to know more (or maybe not know more, just skip the talking and get down to business [which, in my opinion, leads to STDs waiting to happen]), you “swipe” their photo to the right. If you’re not interested, you “swipe” to the left, and cross-eyed Adam is none the wiser. But, if you and a nearby admirer both “swipe” right, it’s a match! You’re alerted that Cutie “swiped” in your favor, too, and you’re invited to chat.

my tinder profile… what other tinder’ers see about me…

Simple. Harmless. Habit-forming.

Now, not everyone uses Tinder as a hookup application. Many people use it to simply meet new people and/or potentially find a date. It has many uses, but its most notorious is obviously “introducing” people for a quick and easy meeting with little mess or headache… This “hookup” business still totally baffles me. As one who doesn’t judge people who want to engage in sex with people they’re not “committed” to, I still ask: What ever happened to the fear of contracting a disease? “Safety first” isn’t always enough. If you ask me, engaging in a “hookup” situation is like asking to be infected with herpes. Or worse, HIV or something.

Um, hello? Does anyone want that? I don’t think so.

It’s like their body is saying, “Hi. I’m Adam’s penis and I’m here to ruin your life with the herp after a one night stand. You’re welcome.”

But anyway… Sorry to get sidetracked there. Sleep with whom you want, when you want. But it’s just not for me.

Now, back to the point of my story.

So, how did I stumble onto Tinder? you might ask. Well. It’s all JW’s fault. My best friend, JW? Yeah, it’s his fault.

We were texting on my Friday morning (his Thursday night, back in the Americas) and he tells me, “KC [our mutual good friend from college] got me hooked on this new dating app, and I can’t put it down!”

I said, “Well, what is it?”

He proceeds to explain to me the inner workings of Tinder, as I explained above, leaving out of course the name of the application. He said, “I’ve been fielding messages left and right all day! I can’t stop!”

I said, “Well that’s nice. Who are you talking to?”

JW then goes on to tell me all about his Tinder’ing, and then says, “You should try it!”

I said, “No thanks. I’m not interested in being in any kind of relationship, and I’m happy with my current ‘fling’ which has a definite expiration date.”

He said, “It’s really amusing. You should try it. See who’s in Korea!”

I said, “I am curious now, but I don’t really feel like getting involved with anyone.”

He said, “It’s just chat! You can see who is out there and you only have to speak if you both want to.”

I said, “The last time I tried anything online-dating related it was match.com and it was so depressing. My online life sucked more than my real one.”

He said, “This is so not that. You answer no questions. No profile. It’s just window shopping.”

Window shopping. I love a good window shopping trip.

So, I fell for it. And boy, am I sorry.

He said, “It’s goin’ down… I’m yellin’ Tinder!” [This was a reference to a very annoying song by the “hip-hop artist” Pitbull, featuring Ke$ha. Yes, he said it.]

And so, there I was. I couldn’t stop. I assumed that because Korea isn’t considered a “hot spot” for apps that are popular back in the Americas, I would have little or nothing to report back to my BFF. But I was wrong. The first hour I tried, I was swiping [a lot] left and [a little] right. And then, the unthinkable happened: I got a match.

it's a match!

it’s a match!

I said, “Oh my god. I have a match. The tinder gods looked down on me and decided to make my life less depressing.”

He said, “LOL.”

Later, I said, “So. I have a match. It happened right before I turned the light out and went to sleep. But neither of us have said anything. This is so ridiculous. It’s like being in high school again. Which was the worst, by the way.”

He said, “Well just give it some time…it’s not your problem to be starting conversations.”

And then, as suddenly as it started, it was equally abrupt in its end that night. Since then, I’ve gotten four other matches. One guy actually did start chatting with me, but he was definitely looking for that “hookup,” which is just not my bag. I mean, at least try to make conversation before asking for my “evening plans”… Where have social niceties gone?

As for the others, I’m still waiting for them to make the first chatting move. I’ve put my foot down – I’m not chatting first.

It’s driven me to more unnecessary pretend-stress about who will “swipe” my face to the right and wondering if my swiping was a rejection to someone who wanted to get to know me. It’s driven me to open a package of cookies I wasn’t going to open… Damn.

But the point of my story is that I can’t bring myself to stop looking. I keep checking. And while most of the time, my screen looks like this one below, telling me, “There’s no one new around you,” I keep going back. I keep hoping for that next “swipe.” That next “like.” It’s my own personal drug: tinder.

tinder... what i'm now seeing most of the time.

tinder… what i’m now seeing most of the time.

*This post was written in response to WordPress’s The Daily Post: Can’t Get It Out of My Head.

7 Comments

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