never ask me for relationship advice…

You may not know this about me, Reader, but I’m full of advice. Not in a super-annoying way like some people are – I will wait until you ask for it before I give it. Indeed, I will wait for you to inquire about my opinion on something before I hash out what I think you should do.

I also have a tendency to be honest about things, even when I think it’s something that you might not want to hear. If you ask me what I think about what you’re wearing, I’ll tell you if I don’t like it. If you ask me if you should go to Starbucks or skip it today, my answer will always be Yes, go to Starbucks. Never skip a Starbucks run. If you ask me whether I think a person is attractive or not, I’ll give it to you straight – what I like or what I don’t.

But there’s one area of advice that I’m no good for these days… And that’s on whether or not you should continue to give your relationship the time of day.

If you’re happy, that’s great. If you’re not, I’m more likely to tell you to break things off. You don’t need that other person: you are strong and you can make it on your own! Don’t let anyone, even someone you love, drag you down! Stand strong! (This is where my independence may have gotten the better of me…)

If you’re in a bad place in your relationship, I’ll tell you all the reasons why you’re right and they’re not. I’ll make a case for why I just don’t get why he’s acting like that or that it’s just complete BS that she would say that to you. And then I’ll say something like, “Is it really worth it to stay? Isn’t this just more a pain than anything else? Don’t you think you should just leave?” 

In certain circumstances, this is the best advice to give. For example, if you’re dating or married to an asshole that abuses you physically or emotionally, YES, I’m going to tell you to get the hell out of there. If your significant other (“SO”) is a bad influence for any number of reasons, YES, I will tell you that you should pack your bags and head out. Sometimes, my advice is sound advice.

And then there are times when it’s just not.

For example, if you and your SO are arguing about what to eat for dinner and you can’t come to an agreement, I will tell you to call it off. Get what you want! You deserve to eat pizza and Chinese food if that’s what you want.

He has an annoying habit? Leave him! You don’t have that habit. Think of how much better life will be without him always around, chewing on his cuticles in front of company.

She always takes the covers in bed? Break it off! Think how much happier you’ll be sleeping alone with all the covers and the whole bed to yourself.

Now, if I was being honest, I would have to admit that my advocating for these things is a little bit ridiculous. I mean, should you really leave a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend over not agreeing to eat both pizza and Chinese? No, probably not.

If you’ve been reading along with me for any length of time, you know that I am a single, twenty-something woman living independently in South Korea. I am disgusted (currently) by the thought of marriage or any kind of committed relationship. This is why I say that when it comes to relationships and dating advice, I’m not the best girl to ask. I will always advocate for you to stand on your own, be free, and embrace your ability to “do it by yourself.” Even though I know that my way  isn’t the best way for everyone, I still argue that it is. And even though these feelings about relationships that I have may not last forever, I’m still pretending like they will. I mean, today, I honestly believe that I may never, ever, ever get married. Or have babies. (Which is a whole other subject. Having babies. Ew.)

So, my advice? While we may be the best of friends, maybe you shouldn’t ask me for relationship suggestions. I probably am not the best source for you. It’s possible that another friend of yours might be better to ask. I’ll give you my honest opinion, and maybe it will be a decent point of view. But then again, maybe not…

Ask at your own discretion. You’ve been warned.


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