Tag Archives: tinder

I tried committing… but I wasn’t ready…

Lately, my thoughts are all over the place. It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything for myself. Part of this is unintentional; much of it is/was a product of my life circumstances.

I ended up dating someone (like, an actual, real relationship) for about 8 weeks and that really effed things up. I spent zero time writing for myself. I worked on a couple of things early on and then, my life revolved around a relationship I wasn’t sure I wanted.

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life’s just too damn short…

Hey, Reader.

I’ve been working on a few things lately and, largely, felt like I needed to share my own story about my “sexual awakening” to set up my thoughts on a post in the works. Rather than bore you with the same story in a different way, I’m re-blogging the original for you to scan.

If anything, I hope this story will spur other young women struggling with some of the grey areas of their sexuality to be brave and confident in themselves.

You are beautiful and desirable, Girl. Go get what you want. Or don’t. The decision is yours.

Cheers.

-K

a little bit brave

Don’t you agree, Reader? Life is just too short. Too damn short. Too short for long lines. Too short for stupid arguments with the people you love (though they are bound to happen…). There’s just not enough time.

There aren’t enough hours in the day. I have often thought this to myself, especially over the last several months. I don’t know where my days go I am so busy sometimes. I wish I could stop time, get things done, and then start it back up again and let the hours trickle away with just a smidgen less stress than I had in the “moment” before. But alas, it’s just not possible.

You know what else life is too short for? For closed-mindedness. I’ve hinted and mentioned several times that I would breach a line of conversation that would possibly uncomfortable for some (and honestly, myself included). To say it out…

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project tinder… a “real life” science experiment…

Happy Tuesday, Reader! Let’s get down to business.

Lately, I’ve been taking notice of what “search terms” randomly lead people to my blog and apparently, something along the lines of “Tinder in Korea” is a big one. I’m here to tell you that if you found this blog that way, Tinder works in Korea. But enough about that. Let’s move on to what this post is really all about.

Several months ago, I was introduced to Tinder. I was immediately hooked. And I realized quickly after I started swiping faces left and right that it was more of a game to me. Let me explain.

First, if you’re not familiar with Tinder (maybe you’ve been living under a rock, or somehow don’t have regular access to internet, or you live in North Korea), it’s a rather simplistic “dating” app. Well, it’s more of a “hookup” application, if we’re being really honest. Basically, you set up a VERY limited profile about yourself – you can add up to six photos and write a “blurb” that’s around 500 characters. You can also link your Facebook account to show similar interests to other users who also link their FB profiles. You choose your search parameters – age, gender, and the maximum radius for a search. Once you’ve done all that, you’re ready. The application “scans” within your preferred radius and you’re suddenly presented with up to six photos of potential “matches.” The beauty of the system is that you’re allowed to be completely shallow and the other person will never know. If you like what you see, you “swipe” the photo to the right. If you’re not so enthused, you “swipe” to the left. If you and another user both “swipe” each other right, it’s a match! Simple as that.

Now that we’ve had our lesson, let’s get back to the meat of this [very one-sided] conversation.

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the one where “Friends” totally screwed up my ideas about “real life”…

You may not know this, Reader, but “Friends” is my all-time favorite television show. Like, ever. I finally made an effort to personally own all ten seasons on DVD; and for the last six months or so since I started to accumulate them, I play them over and over and over again. I don’t actually sit and watch them every time, but I just like having the noise. And I always, always laugh at Chandler’s jokes. Could I be any more addicted?

I wasn’t allowed to watch “Friends” growing up; the first time I actually ever watched more than an episode or two was in college. I found out a girl living on my floor in the dorms had the entire series, so I started borrowing them from her, a season or two at a time. Reader, I was so engrossed that I made it through ten seasons in a mere three weeks. I even skipped some pretty important statistics classes to sit and laugh at the characters I came to love.

Even though I was a little aware of the fact that technology was changing life around me rapidly and that there were things about “Friends” that were becoming – or in some cases, already – outdated, there were plenty of things I observed on the show that I hoped and expected to experience once I became a “real adult.” 

Well. Having been a said “real adult” for several years now, I can tell you that I have been sorely disappointed in some ways. My life has totally not turned out like the lives of the “Friends” party.

Here are ten things I thought life would be like or that I would have once I became a “real grown up”:

1. I would record a cute, corny answering machine message.

There are a few times when we hear the outgoing messages throughout the years of all the “Friends” gang – when Rachel moves in with Phoebe and they alternate every other word (before Phoebe changes it because Rachel gets all the “good words”) or when Ross moves in temporarily with Chandler and Joey and makes a message to the tune of that “We Will Rock You” song. I’ll never do this. No one has a home phone anymore or a physical answering machine, for that matter. I’ll never get to share this fun with a roommate, should I ever have another one. Everyone has their own cell phone now, and messages are not shared. Bummer.

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life’s just too damn short…

Don’t you agree, Reader? Life is just too short. Too damn short. Too short for long lines. Too short for stupid arguments with the people you love (though they are bound to happen…). There’s just not enough time.

There aren’t enough hours in the day. I have often thought this to myself, especially over the last several months. I don’t know where my days go I am so busy sometimes. I wish I could stop time, get things done, and then start it back up again and let the hours trickle away with just a smidgen less stress than I had in the “moment” before. But alas, it’s just not possible.

You know what else life is too short for? For closed-mindedness. I’ve hinted and mentioned several times that I would breach a line of conversation that would possibly uncomfortable for some (and honestly, myself included). To say it out loud, or in this case, write it in the permanent ink of the internet, makes it “un-take back-able. ” It’s out there for people to judge and hate or rejoice in and support. I’m afraid of the former. Of the judgement.

I think the reason I haven’t “publicly” admitted, spoken, or written concerning what I’m about to expel is because I don’t want to hear the disappointment of the people I love. I don’t want to hear them ask me how I could think or feel such things. How I could “abandon the truth,” as some of my loved ones have so poetically put it in the past. How could I hurt these people whom I love and have no intention to disappoint? Or the friends with whom I used to share a deep sincerity for religion and spirituality?

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